Was Jesus hesitant before the crucifixion? If so, why? Let’s examine what really happened.
In the Garden of Gethsemane, Jesus knew He was about to be delivered over to be crucified. He said to some of His disciples, “My soul is deeply grieved, to the point of death; remain here and keep watch with Me” (Matthew 26:38).
“And He went a little beyond them, and fell on His face and prayed, saying, ‘My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; yet not as I will, but as You will.’ … He went away again a second time and prayed, saying, ‘My Father, if this cannot pass away unless I drink it, Your will be done.'” (Matthew 26: 39,42)
Jesus was forsaken
Why was Jesus deeply grieved and why did He not want to drink the cup?
Jesus’s concern was not what many people think: that He did not want to die for us. But His grievance was related to what He said on the cross: “About the ninth hour Jesus cried out with a loud voice, saying, ‘Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?’ that is, ‘My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?'” (Matthew 27:46).
Jesus was deeply grieved because He was separated from God the Father. He had never been separated from God the Father in the spirit. Even though Jesus came to earth as a man, He was always spiritually connected with the Father. And Jesus knew, “for You loved Me before the foundation of the world” (John 17:24).
Why He was forsaken by God
God had to abandon His Son Jesus, because Jesus became sin for us. In the Father’s sight, Jesus became the embodiment of sin because He took our sins upon Himself. So the Father separated Himself from the Son and punished Him for all the sins people commit. This punishment disfigured Jesus’ soul more than the soul of any man (so Jesus suffered more than the physical pain of the cross).
Isaiah the prophet said:
“Just as many were astonished at you, My people,
So His appearance was marred more than any man
And His form more than the sons of men.
Thus He will sprinkle many nations,
Kings will shut their mouths on account of Him;
For what had not been told them they will see,
And what they had not heard they will understand.” (Isaiah 52:14-15)
Jesus was not unrecognizable after being taken down from the cross. Even though He was scourged and pierced, His general physical form was not marred more than the sons of men. In fact, none of His bones were broken (John 19:36). But these verses in Isaiah meant that He suffered more than any man. He suffered the punishment of death in His soul like the punishment of hell.
Jesus’ suffering included separation from God the Father, because the Father could not remain connected with Jesus while Jesus represented sin. Because God is pure and sinless, the Father had to forsake the Son when the Son became sin for us.
Being forsaken is a big deal
Being forsaken by God is a big deal.
Jesus had prayed while He was on earth, “I do not ask on behalf of these alone, but for those also who believe in Me through their word; that they may all be one; even as You, Father, are in Me and I in You, that they also may be in Us, so that the world may believe that You sent Me.
The glory which You have given Me I have given to them, that they may be one, just as We are one; I in them and You in Me, that they may be perfected in unity, so that the world may know that You sent Me, and loved them, even as You have loved Me.” (John 17:20-23)
As is evident from Jesus’ prayer, the Father and the Son are one, perfect in unity, never apart until the time of Christ’s suffering on the cross.
So this separation was a big deal to Jesus. He was in so much agony over this that in the garden, “His sweat became like drops of blood, falling down upon the ground” (Luke 22:44).
People may still not understand
This mystery of being together with God is deep, and we do not fully understand how valuable this is to Jesus. But we can at least understand a little bit in our understanding of what loneliness means. Being forsaken, abandoned, and lonely is not something anyone in their right mind would volunteer for. So at least we can understand a smidgen of what Jesus was feeling in the garden.
The good news is God promises to never abandon any of His children for whom Christ gave His life:
“He Himself has said, ‘I will never desert you, nor will I ever forsake you.'” (Hebrews 13:5)
To learn more about Jesus’s suffering, see Jesus’ Sacrifice.
Read Matthew 26 and Matthew 27 in the Bible.